Just as there are all different types of women, there are all different types of brides. The woman who is traditional and family oriented will be the same way when she is planning her wedding. The proud feminist will bring her values and beliefs to her wedding, as well.

Women can consider themselves feminists, but hold a wide range of beliefs. The one belief that all feminists share is that men and women are created equal (or maybe a tad better!). How they express this belief in their day to day lives will be as individual as the women themselves.

When any woman is planning a wedding, it is important that it feel like her. For instance, you would not expect the debutante to be married barefoot in a muddy field anymore than you would picture the hippie holding her wedding reception in a country club. The wedding should fit the bride, not the other way around.

The one thing that you will certainly not hear in a feminist wedding is a promise to “obey” a man. The fact of the matter is that few women, of any persuasion, include the part about being an obedient wife in their wedding vows these days. To all but the most traditional, it just feels outdated.

Some feminist brides may have problems with the symbolism of her father “giving her away” to the groom. This custom dates back to a time when women were considered the property of a man, and although no one takes it literally anymore, some women find it hard to stomach. If it doesn’t feel right for your wedding, there are certainly other alternatives. Jewish wedding customs (which by the way, are very respectful of women) usually have the bride being walked down the aisle by both parents, which may be a better option. Of course, the bride is also perfectly free to walk down the aisle all by herself.

Other aspects of a wedding that may have troubling symbolism to a feminist bride are the white wedding gown and veil. Many people take the white gown to be a symbol of purity, although this traditional assumption has waned a bit, as second time and even pregnant brides now often don a white wedding dress. There is also quite a bit of symbolism associated with the bridal veil, especially the blusher that is worn over the face.

The bottom line is that weddings today are very much customized to reflect the wishes and taste of the bride and groom. No one should feel obligated to wear something that doesn’t feel right to them. After all, every bride deserves to feel gorgeous, and the only way to achieve that is to pick a dress and wedding jewelry that you absolutely love. Even if the wedding dress is blue and the jewelry is non-traditional, you will be just as much a “real bride” as the woman in the long white dress, pearl necklace, and full veil!

A wedding is not a time to make a grand political statement, but nor is it a time to suppress who you are. When a feminist woman becomes a feminist bride, it is only natural that she will want to do things in a way that feels true to her beliefs. In fact, that is good advice for any bride and groom!

Finding the whole process of weddings and all the planning that goes into one fascinating, Laura writes about many of the considerations that brides have to deal with. Wedding jewelry comes in styles sure to suit any taste or budget.

Is Face Veil Obligatory? Answered by Dr. Zakir Naik

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